Seattle has called my name since the Grunge Scene became “The Thing”. Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Hole. I’m
not into that as much as I was in high school. Now it’s Brother Ali, Murs,
Atmosphere, and Outkast. They speak to me like Nirvana and Sublime did in my
youth.
I have 2 amazingly beautiful and wonderful children. But I can’t stay
here. I need to be on the move. I had to stop college; I work 2 jobs just too barely
make it. My ex is never going to give up the kids willingly, nor will he pay me
child support directly.
I feel like I’ve already lost them. They love me, I know that. I love
them and they know that. They crave my attention like I do theirs.
The lovely LiLi at work told me to definitely visit before thinking about
going, which is something I thought of, but probably wouldn’t do. As much as I like planning things, I don’t
think I’d have the balls to visit and then move, I have to just go.
Maybe Colorado? I want a chill place. Somewhere that the worries and
stress and anxiety is gone. Part of me thinks that it’s just wishful thinking.
I am who I am. My personality is already defined according to my dr. I’m 32, I
don’t think my actual personality is going to change. Maybe how I approach and
react to things, but now who I am.
Who wants that anyway?!
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