Saturday, August 25, 2012

Where to go...

I want to move. I want to get away from the city that I love. Oh, Chicago. I love the city. I can walk for hours, see the most amazing architecture, go to the beach and do a billion other things, and yet, I want to leave.

Seattle has called my name since the Grunge Scene became “The Thing”.  Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Hole. I’m not into that as much as I was in high school. Now it’s Brother Ali, Murs, Atmosphere, and Outkast. They speak to me like Nirvana and Sublime did in my youth.

I have 2 amazingly beautiful and wonderful children. But I can’t stay here. I need to be on the move. I had to stop college; I work 2 jobs just too barely make it. My ex is never going to give up the kids willingly, nor will he pay me child support directly.

I feel like I’ve already lost them. They love me, I know that. I love them and they know that. They crave my attention like I do theirs.

The lovely LiLi at work told me to definitely visit before thinking about going, which is something I thought of, but probably wouldn’t do.  As much as I like planning things, I don’t think I’d have the balls to visit and then move, I have to just go.

Maybe Colorado? I want a chill place. Somewhere that the worries and stress and anxiety is gone. Part of me thinks that it’s just wishful thinking. I am who I am. My personality is already defined according to my dr. I’m 32, I don’t think my actual personality is going to change. Maybe how I approach and react to things, but now who I am.

 

Who wants that anyway?!

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